Signs and Symptoms

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 In the future I will not predict my posts.  Sometimes, when the time comes, I don't want to write about the things I said I would.  Living with bipolar disorder is like riding a roller coaster.  The ups re so much fun, if not embarrassing, and productive.  The difference is that the downs are not fun, but the are scary.  Most of the time the ride fluctuates quickly and suddenly.  I never know what I am going to wake up to--if I ever slept.
 In an effort to help everyone understand more fully about bipolar disorder, here is a list of symptoms of manic episodes and depressive episodes.  Please, no self diagnosis from these lists.  If you are worried about yourself or someone you love see a mental health professional or your physician.  The list is from http://www.incrisis.org

Symptoms of a Depressive Episode

◦ Persistent sad, down or empty moods

◦ Feeling helpless, hopeless and pessimistic

◦ Feelings of guilt or being worthlessness

◦ Loss of interest or pleasure in ordinary activities

◦ Decreased energy, a feeling of fatigue or of being "slowed down"

◦ Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions

◦ Restlessness or irritability

◦ Sleeping too much or excessively

◦ Loss of appetite and weight loss

◦ Increased appetite and weight gain

Symptoms of a Manic Episode

◦ Increased energy, activity and restlessness

◦ Racing thoughts and rapid speech

◦ Denial that anything is wrong

◦ High risk behavior

◦ Impulsiveness or reckless behavior

◦ Excessive "high" or moderately positive feelings

◦ Poor sleep or decreased sleep

◦ Unrealistic beliefs in one’s ability

◦ Poor judgment

◦ A sustained period of behavior that is different from usual behavior

◦ Increased sexual drive

◦ Abuse of drugs and alcohol

◦ Provocative, intrusive, or aggressive behavior

What Can We Do?

photo credit:  www.emory.edu

 I was asked after the first post what friends and family can do to help and if time will make it better or are there other factors.  I can only speak for me and what helps me.  If you have other suggestions let's hear them.
 My ups and downs are linked to my hormone levels as well as situational factors.  I can push through the lows if I have something really great to motivate me, i.e. people.  I am as extroverted as you can get, so I love company, visits from friends and family, walking group, craft day--you get the idea.  I scoured my whole house for Thanksgiving because my parents were coming.  Anything less special couldn't get me to do it.  It helped that I was on the up part of my mood cycle.  If I am down I will not perform if I do not feel loved, supported, or understood, which drives my husband to distraction.  I just want to stay in bed and sleep or read.  It takes a huge amount of mental effort to get out of bed and get dressed.  Showers are optional and aren't taken.  I use the excuse that my skin just comes apart if I bathe too often (which is true), but showering for church is not often enough.  I have goals that never seem to get met.  Time does not heal all wounds, it just passes.
 If you would like to help, be there for me.  Ask me how I am and really want to know.  Be patient with me.  Encourage me.  Support me; love me.  Invite me places or come visit me.  Do not cover my responsibilities for me or I will never try.
 Next post I will do some research and find out what helps others with their bipolar disorder.

Reasons For This Blog

 As a long time sufferer of bipolar disorder, I feel the need to share what I have learned through my experiences, schooling, research, and the experiences of others.  Mental illness can either build a stronger character or it can destroy a persons' character and life.  It all depends on how we deal with the problem.  Impaired judgement often accompanies mental illness and it is, therefore, difficult to make good choices that improve quality of life.  Through posts on this blog, I intend to help those suffering with mental illness, those who love or know someone with mental illness, and those who wish to become more informed on the subject.
 I am not a therapist and I am not qualified professionally to give advice.  I did receive a Bachelor's degree in Family Science from BYU.  I intended to get my Master's degree in Family Therapy, but I became deathly ill with the pregnancy of my first child instead.  My physical and mental health declined from there.  It seemed I was always pregnant, nursing, or recovering from the experience for nine years.  Most of my life during that time is a blur.  I did keep a sporadic journal that reminds me how dark those days really were.  If my husband was any less of a man I would be divorced, in jail, and probably suicidal.  He stayed by me through all of my troubles and he is still there supporting me even still.  I have been lucky and blessed in my ongoing recovery and I wish to pay it forward.
 My specific problem is instability in my thoughts, moods, and behaviors.  I have fewer ups than downs and it takes a great effort on most days to get out of bed.  I finally went to my doctor and he prescribed Citalopram, the generic for Cellexa.  The medication has helped take the edge off of my ups and downs so that I can take more control over my life.  It also took away the ever present anger.
 Citalopram is not the only medication I have tried.  The others were for just the downs and made me, well, crazier.  I am so grateful there are many different medications, for those that actually need it, that provide relief from many different symptoms.  Medication need not and is not part of the solution for many people.  For some, medication does more harm than good.  Other strategies, in combination with medication or not, do more for some people than any other effort.  I plan to offer a well rounded approach and many ideas that have helped people and may help many more.
 Let's make this journey together so that we may learn from each other's experiences and lessen the impact of mental illness on the world.  Let us be free.